Today, I acknowledge I was already a ladies man. That’s right; I was a Casanova of agenda in my heydays. I accept been complex in abounding “casual relationships” – from Zodwa, the adulation of my activity – greater for getting unfulfilled, to Busi, the abhorrent kisser, to Nompilo who becoming her stripes as the aboriginal woman to affect me with a sexually transmitted ache and, to Thule – conceivably my aboriginal yellow-bone, a apple beauty, and arrant chiffonier who died prematurely.
Out of all my “casual relationships” alone one stands out. I had something appropriate with my abutting acquaintance angry lover called Cebisile (the one who helps with a acceptable plan). In the avant-garde parlance, my accord with Cebisile could be declared as “friends with benefits.” Cebisile and I knew that we were in a “casual relationship.” I was chargeless to date added women. I guess, she too if she capital was chargeless to date anyone else. But, she chose me, warts and all.
Psychologists accept continued warned that accurate adulation and charge are a attenuate find. They assert that a lot of times adventurous relationships are not based on adulation at all but are accidental and animal in nature. I apperceive abounding a babe who would belittle at the abstraction of a “casual relationship” that they would rather accept to reside with the delusional white lie that their accord is a added academic adventurous relationship. Cebisile and I had no delusions of grandeur.
Cebisile was short, fair in appearance and consistently abounding of beans. It was this accustomed animation that drew me afterpiece to her. She was a charmer extraordinaire. Cebisile’s attendance in my activity did wonders to my ego to no end. Yet, she wasn’t my ideal adherent as I adopted them tall, attenuate and yellow-boned. But, Cebisile was cut from a altered cloth; she had that “thing.” To borrow from the Songs of Solomon, Cebisile had dove’s eyes, teeth like a army of bald sheep, and her aperture were like a fiber of scarlet. I wouldn’t all-important say I was arch over heels for Cebisile. Nonetheless, we had a acceptable appearance except that we never had sex.
Yes, you apprehend that right. No sex – abounding stop. A Casanova was already complex in a sex-less accidental relationship. It wasn’t a about hormonal issues – menopause or accouchement that are generally abhorrent whenever a woman loses her libido. Cebisile’s admiration was in abounding throttle. As for me, it wasn’t that I al of a sudden had a lower than accustomed testosterone levels. I was as baking blooded like all added philanders. Truth is we fabricated a vow of sexually abstinence. And, this had annihilation to do with religious reasons. In fact, I had no abstraction why would a woman in her twenties say no to sex but yes to a accord with a acclaimed womaniser.
Although, I was puzzled by her no-sex stance, I played forth abundantly because I admired my accord with her. I accept to admit, I capital more.
I will be cogent a lie if I say I was searching advanced to Cebisile’s aboriginal sleepover at my apprehensive abode. Oh Boy! I should have. Cebisile gave me chargeless acquaint in animal amusement bare of penetration. After our aboriginal animal encounter, I about fell in adulation with her. In all my accidental relationships, the one I had with Cebisile was additional to none for that year.
We spent a lot of superior time calm with Cebisile until we absent contact. The endure time I saw her backward in 1998, she was still affable but frail. We exchanged blast numbers afresh and agreed to accommodated to bake the old bonfire of our “love” affair. We never did.
I alone abstruse about the abortive afterlife of Cebisile in the mid-2000. I was traveling through my old affidavit if I chanced aloft her Telkom blast number. I dialled the amount and articulation on the end of the band said, “Let me alarm an adult.” I knew something big had happened to my angel Cebisile. The ancient blown no time. She simple appear that Cebisile was backward and was active endure year (1999). But why am I cogent you this story? Wait. I abstruse after from added ancestors associates that Cebisile had died as a aftereffect of AIDS-defining analytic conditions.
Cebisile was for the abridgement of bigger byword my body mate. I am beholden to her for attention me and admiring me absolutely to the damage of her own happiness. Cebisile put her accomplished getting to the account of those like me who were at the time apprenticed about the baneful HIV/Aids epidemic. In the mid-nineties, some of us knew actual little about assorted forms of attention oneself adjoin HIV. The use of condoms was intermittent. And, there were no anti-retroviral drugs to arrest the advance of the ache already infected. The alone adjustment that absolutely formed was animal abstinence. To this day, I address Cebisile for admiring me absolutely abundant to wish me to reside a HIV/Aids chargeless life. May her candied and affable body blow in peace!